Everybody has something to hide! (except for me and my monkey)

I've been in a discussion over on another blog about how honest the LDS Church should be with new converts. While some say honesty is the best policy, it doesn't seem to be when you are trying to get someone to convert to your religion.

Was the LDS Church dishonest with me? Yes. Was I dishonest when trying to convert others to Mormonism? Yes. But beyond that the question remains: how honest should religions be when it comes to telling their members unflattering truths?

Mormonism isn't alone. The Jehovah's Witnesses have some serious problems telling people the truth about their religion. Scientology has some problems in the truth department also. We even find similar lists on the ExMormon site and on the ExScientologist site.

Also, Christianity itself has some pretty dark secrets that I only learned of when I got Internet access. I'd include Islam but I don't want to wake up at 3am to find that my barn and my house are on fire.

Back to honesty. After years of research, I don't think that honesty and religious history are on the same page. I really don't. I love this analogy I found here while reading the different opinions of Mormons on historical honesty.

“Let’s say that I dated and married the hottest woman in Texas. She’s everything I ever wanted…beautiful, talented…it’s my belief that she’s my soul mate.

“Our marriage is awesome….we’ve been married for several years….like every marriage, there are things that pop up that we have to work through…but overall, things are great.
“Since I didn’t know her when she was a little kid, teenager…and even before my mission, I rely on her version of her history…what she tells me…..She says she was always active in the church…she’s never had a drink of alcohol…in fact, I was the first guy she kissed….never even had a boyfriend. I have no reason to doubt her….after all, she’s the perfect wife….and any relationship is built upon trust - she’s done nothing to compromise that.

“As time goes on….and we’re moving some old boxes from the basement to storage, I notice a picture of her at a high school dance…liplocked with some dude that obviously ain’t me! And, I uncover some love letters…that are a little more intimate than I’m comfortable with….as I do a little more looking, I discover a photo of her at a frat party…with what appears to be an alcoholic beverage in her hand….some other inconsistencies pop up…..stuff different than what I’ve always been told.

“I immediately start asking questions….I’m disturbed by this…I’m looking for explanations. When I confront her with the evidence, she challenges me saying that I’m looking for a reason to destroy our marriage…and this is really less about her past than about my ability to trust her. I start asking her family….people I trust to tell me the truth. They acknowledge that my wife did kinda have a history, but that really didn’t mean anything. Nothing fundamental changed - after all….I felt a tremendous love and bond to her…right?

“After a while and with some reluctance, she kinda comes clean….(or I get to the bottom of it one way or another) she claims she didn’t mislead me, but she can’t deny that she had a bit of a wild side in high school, she drank a little bit and actually had several boyfriends.

“In fact, she asserts, it was really my fault for misunderstanding her….the information, she claims, was out there if I would have not been so lazy and studied it out for myself. It wasn’t her responsibility to publish, talk about or disclose information that would potentially harm my perception of her….and our relationship. After all, all that stuff happened in the past…and she does not do that anymore (which seems to be true). She says she just didn’t want to harm our relationship….because she cared about me. She argues that she wasn’t inaccurate or untruthful, just a little bit incomplete…again with my best interests in mind.”

Again it's pay no attention to that man behind the curtain....just have faith.



Yep, it would be great if religions were required by law to be totally truthful with their adherents. But then that would be like blowing up the foundation of a house and expecting the walls and the roof not to fall in. ;)