Staying in for so long

One of the facets of human behavior that interests me is our toleration for pain, suffering and stupidity. So many of us stay in jobs, relationships, and other uncomfortable situation for long periods of time and are absolutely miserable. We put up with tons of horseshit from others.

Why?

Well, there is that strange thing called hope. We hope things will get better....we hope it will all work out eventually. Sometimes it does. Often it doesn't and we continue to put up with the garbage handed to us.

Then there is fear. We don't quit that job because we fear what will happen to us financially. We fear what will happen if we do leave a bad relationship. We fear lots of things.

At last we have duty. People may treat you like crap, but you feel duty bound to stay in that job or that relationship or in that situation and work it out. I feel duty in these situations is a mixture of guilt and ego. You feel guilty for letting the situation "whip" you and by god you are going to endure it till the bitter end!

A post today over at the exmormons board got me to thinking about this. When asked how she could think about sharing a husband in the afterlife (polygamy) one poster wrote:

"It sat on the cobwebby back shelf of my mind, right up there with JS's face in a hat and other disturbing facets of mormonism. Every now and then, it would pop out and cause me some moments of worry--but then I'd shove it farther back, and think about something else.I know. It was dumb, and no way to deal with disturbing doctrines--but that's how I did it."

After thinking about it, I realized that along with fear and guilt, I used this same process to deal with my "Mormon problems" over the years. The problem is that the shelf in your mind one day becomes over loaded with stuff and collapses. Unless you build more shelves I guess.