A rather common indiscretion

Human sexuality and the desire on the part of religion over the ages to squash it has long been of interest to me. It's just so damn weird!!! Jesus comes across as a celibate sex hater if there ever was one. Paul follows his master proclaiming that it is "good for a man not to touch a woman".

Most Christians today turn a blind eye to all that talk. To them the Bible is a buffet that they pick and choose from. The teachings of Jesus and Paul on sex is the funky smelling tuna salad on the buffet that no one wants.

But not the Mormons. It's not enough for a person to abstain from sex before marriage and to remain faithful afterwards. They have be as fanatic and extreme as they can possibly be.

I've mentioned their desire to control what married couples do behind closed doors. They also want to control what teenagers do. Thus their holy war on masturbation.

In another post I quoted former Mormon President Spencer Kimball on the subject where he claimed that masturbation was "a rather common indiscretion" in Mormonism. Sounds pretty innocuous until you realize that Mormon leaders don't treat it that way. Here are a few choice gems from the LDS Church on how to fill your children full of guilt and self loathing:

"A boy should be taught about the power of creation within his body and that the Lord intended that this power should be used exclusively in marriage. He should be cautioned against sexual self-stimulation (masturbation)." (“Teaching about Procreation and Chastity,” Family Home Evening Resource Book, 1997,253)

"...masturbation is considered by many in the world to be the harmless expression of an instinctive sex drive. Teach your children that the prophets have condemned it as a sin throughout the ages and that they can choose not to do it. Throughout childhood, boys and girls have touched their own genitals frequently to wash and to dress. This is a behavior that usually has the same meaning as keeping one’s feet warm in the winter, enjoying a swim on a hot day, or scratching an itch. We ought to be friendly to our bodies and appreciate the body’s marvelous range of senses. This innocent touching is not the kind of behavior warned against by prophets through the ages. The sin of masturbation occurs when a person stimulates his or her own sex organs for the purpose of sexual arousal. It is a perversion of the body’s passions. When we pervert these passions and intentionally use them for selfish, immoral purposes, we become carnal.
Masturbation is not physically necessary. There is already a way by which the male system relieves excessive spermatic fluid quite regularly through the nocturnal emission or wet dream. Monthly menstrual flow expels the female’s egg and cleanses the womb. For both sexes, physical or emotional tensions can be released by vigorous activity. Thus, in a biological sense, masturbation for either gender is not necessary. In a gospel sense, it is a sin: “Masturbation, a rather common indiscretion, is not approved of the Lord nor of His Church regardless of what may have been said by others whose ‘norms’ are lower. Latter-day Saints are urged to avoid this practice” (Spencer W. Kimball, Love Versus Lust, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Provo, 5 Jan. 1965], p. 22)." (Teaching Adolescents: from Twelve to Eighteen Years,” A Parent’s Guide, p.35)

"In modern society, it is far too common a tragedy for young people to cultivate a strong sexual appetite even before they begin to date. One cause of this serious problem can be the sin of masturbation. Children should be taught, at around the first signs of puberty, what masturbation is and why it is wrong. Parents who avoid guiding their children in this matter do them a disservice.
Masturbation can be described as manipulating one’s own sexual organs to produce sexual excitement." (Talking with Your Children about Moral Purity. Ensign, December 1986)

"Now, my young friends, and I am sorry to say, many adults, how about all those of you who have a masturbation problem? If the names of those who had the problem were projected across [a] big, huge scroll, would your name be there, or would you be able to sit back confident and pure in heart?" (Vaughn J. Featherstone, “A Self-Inflicted Purging,” Ensign, May 1975, 66)
[Featherstone gave this talk before the men and boy's session of General Conference]

Of course, it's not just enough to teach all of this. There has to be a personal Inquisition to root it out. This is called a "bishop's interview". The bishop takes a teenager into a room by themselves and asks them questions. Among them is the question "do you masturbate?" I asked a few people about their experiences with this and got these responses:

From a former Mormon Mission President: Just for the record, I got so tired of hearing about masturbation from the elders. I never brought it up, but I sure heard about it. At the end of every interview I always asked "is there anything you'd like to talk about?" I really wanted to add "EXCEPT MASTURBATION". Such guilt over something so natural and normal. I think my elders were pretty shocked when I said something like "so what?" But then that got around the mission and they all decided they wanted to confess after all. SIGH Those old boys on South Temple are such wankers!

From other people who had to endure the "interview":

1.-When it came time for my deacon interview I went to the chapel w/dear old Mom.....We waited outside the Bishop's office and pretty soon it was my turn. I went in and he asked if my Mother was going to come in too. I told her I didn't mind so she came in. I went through the questions, answering them honestly just waiting for the big question. And then it came " So ______, do you masturbate?" I looked at him straight in the face and said "What's that?"My poor conservative Mother was stunned, the Bishop was speechless. I guess he didn't have to explain it in detail very often. I waited, there was some mumbling then he said " well uh, do you uh, play with your private parts?" I said "Oh that! No."

2.-I had no idea it was coming. We had just moved from Pennsylvania to Oregon, and I was thirteen. My father told me I needed to interview with the bishop--this was the first time I met the man. In a closed room, with no one else present, the bishop asked me if I "abused" myself. I honestly didn't know what he meant. "Why would I hurt myself?" I replied. "Do you play with your penis?" he asked. I was mortified; I could hear blood pounding in my ears. I don't even remember how I answered him. When I left the room I was angry and upset. My father was mad at me, the bastard. Couldn't he at least have given me a heads up?

3.-My parents never knew because they did not go but made me go to church. I was so shocked and young that I did not know what he was talking about. I don't remember how he phrased it but he had to ask a few times in different ways. I remember saying no and thinking (what is he talking about and why can he ask me this??) I am still angry and it was like 1959. Please parents, if you are not going to save your kids from this cult, at least say no to any interviews. You will have to educate your kids to never go behind closed doors because you may never know when they will do this without your permission.

4.-(From a female)The Bishop asked if I masturbated, and when I admitted that I had before he wanted to know where I did it, how often, what I thought about, how it made me feel and told me it was a sin.I never answered his questions. They enraged me... I was 12. I walked out of the office, out of the building and sat down by my dad's car until he came out and found me. Then I told him I was going to move in with my mother who had been excommunicated for committing adultery. I knew she wouldn't make me go back.

5.-Ok, I'm going to breath and be calm on this one because it fires me up. Those religious freaks really screwed me up over this one. I was one of those 12 year olds who had to go through the years of guilt and shame because of the church's stance on masturbation. I had to do the whole bishop asking these kinds of questions to me thing when I was [young]. It really, really messed me up because their entire system is designed to shame you about your body and put you through completely unnecessary guilt and torment.

6.-I confessed to jerking off to so many bishops and mission presidents that I lost count. I became a veteran confessor. I could just never do the forsaking part. Nobody ever helped me get to the root of why I wanted to do it. Now I know why. They have about as much connection to the God they're preaching as Madonna has to Kabbalah. It's my body and that's how it works. It helps me cope with the lousy life the Mormon church helped me to build.

So that's the hell that can be a bishop's interview. Another strange thing: Most of this talk about not masturbating is directed at young males. So women don't do it? Oh yeah, women don't have sex drives...I forgot.

I can testify that this is the one thing in Mormonism that caused me and countless others needless pain and suffering (as witnessed by the above postings). It has even killed some people.

Like polygamy, this is one teaching that Mormons downplay with prospective converts....or at least the LDS missionaries did with me.

It's a rather unpleasant side to the long, strange trip through Mormonism.